Navigating Grief: A Journey of Faith and Healing
“We give great honor to those who endure under suffering. For instance, you know about Job, a man of great endurance. You can see how the Lord was kind to him at the end, for the Lord is full of tenderness and mercy.”
James 5:11 NLT
The purpose of this blog is to encourage Christians, believers, and non-believers of Christ, to be transparent and authentic with the reality of how grief challenges our faith. In addition, I want to share my own challenges that my husband and I faced with the loss of my mother-in-law and the loss of our second daughter. As a former Social Worker, now a stay-at-home-mom and active supporter of several non-profit organizations, the Lord has been pulling on my heart to share the devastation, challenges, trauma, and the ongoing journey of healing and unwavering faith. Grief isn’t only the death and loss of a loved one, but it can also be the loss of a marriage, employment, good health, finances, or home. We hope by sharing our story that you will be encouraged and hold on to your faith in Christ when the mountain of storms seems to never end. When we encourage you, we are also healing and encouraging ourselves. Remember that you are not alone in your grief and give yourself some grace and place your hand into the hands of our Father, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. The Bible reminds us in Isaiah 41:13, “For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you, Fear not, I will help you.” NKJV
Have You Heard of the Stages of Grief?
When I was in college, as a Social Work undergraduate and graduate student, I learned about the Kubler-Ross 5 Stages of Grief.
Denial (avoidance, confusion, shock, fear)
Anger (frustration, mad, irritation, anxiety)
Bargaining (struggling to find meaning, reaching out to others, what if scenarios)
Depression (overwhelmed, helplessness, hostility. flight)
Acceptance (exploring options, hope, new plan in place, moving on)
Over the years, mental health professionals have suggested two additional stages of grief: Shock and Processing Grief. In 2022, Prolonged Grief Disorder was added to the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) a guidebook mental health professional use to diagnose mental health conditions. Some of the characteristics of Prolonged Grief Disorder are “people who are unable to resume their daily lives a year after their loss. While some may start to feel better in a matter of months or even weeks, others find the process ongoing and debilitating.”
When I read the article, I let out a loud and angry scream and said “are they serious?! Prolonged Grief Disorder? Our whole lives have just been turned upside down, the roller coaster of emotions, the waves of grief and the pain of losing our loved ones. Of course, it is hard, ongoing, and our lives have forever changed, but I completely disagree with this mental health diagnosis. I know there are healthcare professionals who will disagree with me however, grief is different, it’s complexed, and unless you’ve experienced grief for yourself, how can one understand that you’re not “crazy”, you’re grieving. Grief is our way of showing how much we loved the person or the particular thing we lost. In Matthew Chapter 5, Jesus is giving His sermon on the Mount to teach the disciples and the multitude the “The Beatitudes” and verse 4 says, “blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” I’ve read this verse over and over again to remind myself that those who experience sadness, sorrow, and grief will eventually find comfort and support.
This is Our Journey: In the Beginning
“I reverence you, Lord. I am still in awe of your mighty blessings. Thank you, Lord, for your grace. My heart is yours; I am yours, and all that I have is yours. You amaze me. You said if we ask anything in your name and believe it shall be done, and I am living proof. I still can’t believe this is happening, we’re pregnant! Oh, how happy I am, and I made my declaration to you at the beginning of the year. I pray for a healthy pregnancy and delivery, healthy development with all ten fingers and toes. Thank you for giving me another chance at bringing forth life from my womb. Give me strength because I am a lot older now and have more health issues than before with Hannah. These days have been rough on me. I’ve basically been on bed rest. The nausea, fatigue, hot flashes, cramps, and back pain. I know it’s all part of the process. How dare I complain when you’ve done more than enough.” June 2022 Journal Entry
When my husband and I found out we were pregnant for the second time, we were excited and shocked all at the same time. Our oldest daughter was 5yrs old at the time and the thought of a newborn was a bit unreal. However, after our first OB/GYN appointment, little did we know how our lives would be forever change.
“He reveals the deep and hidden things; He knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with Him.” Daniel 2:22
Blog Written By Kezia Holder.
More Blog Posts written at justsayingjesusbless.com.